Monday, November 17, 2008

i heard there was a secret cord that david played and it pleased the lord but you don't really care for music, do you

so when i started blogging here, i must admit i was intrigued. i thought to myself "cool, secret blog. i can do and say whatever i want!" the idea of a secret blog was very appealing, but i realized that i wanted to use this more as a way for me to stay in touch with friends, maybe make a few new ones, and simply write. i realized that a secret blog of this nature, written by someone of my lowly import, does not get a whole lot of traffic and would be, therefore, very lonely. anyone who knows me would know that i like people, i don't know if anyone would call me a "people person" i think that i get called an "ass" much more often, but none would say that i am not a social animal of sorts. but it has happened, twice now i have had things that i really needed to talk about, to vent i guess, but i have had no forum, public or private to do it in. i am not one to hold my tongue, i generally say what i feel, i try and be tactful, but have no problem stating my mind. sometimes this is good and sometimes it is not. so it was hard for me not to let go here to my virtual colleagues. i don't know if i am "growing up" (i did just turn 29), or what, but my blog here has turned into an affective filter to help censure my emotions. i don't like holding things back, i feel somewhat dishonest with myself, but i can't please everyone, nor can i change them as to be pleased by them. these have been some of those times where no one wins, so i guess i'll keep quiet.

4 comments:

Less Is More said...

Happy Birthday Bro!

Mac said...

listen(read) pachuco, set up another blog and provide a link to it and whenever you want to say something in secret/out in the open you can provide a link to it in your main blog post by saying(writing) somethin like "according to this potential genius/idiot, (etc.)" and then you can comment on your own comments.
By the way I responded to your comment on my blog with a comment below yours.

Geneise said...

I am proud of how you have grown and matured over the years. Sunday was a perfect example of that. I could feel your thoughts. Even tough I would agree with more of what you would have to say about it. The responsible adult would say to oneself "Somethings are better left unsaid." However...Responsibility What's that?

rantipoler said...

I feel the same way now about my blog. I used to feel like I could say (almost) anything. Well, some things are just not meant to be shared with anybody, really, and journals are great for that. I hope no one ever finds mine. Anyways, back to the blog. A girl from school found mine and decided to follow it and now I feel like I have to censor myself. Sucks.