Tuesday, September 30, 2008

born to be a god amongst salesmen, working the skinny tie.

so it seems that my posts have a tendency to lean towards the longer side, so I thought that I would keep this one on the shorter side.

So i am still having a hard time writing, which makes me sad, and the other day i talked on the phone with a friend in cali, and after the conversation i realized that i have been on the negative side lately. as such, i have decided that the people that i enjoy the most and most enjoy being around are people who are not negative. i would use johnnyA as an example but most of you don't know him so it wouldn't help. i will therefore work on being less negative and more positive. and i would like to help all of my friends and, well, anyone that i come in contact with to do the same, starting with this


go, it is great, it makes me happy, hell take me with you and we can both be happy...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

i don't know you, but i want you all the more for that

so i have watched two new movies this last week or so. "Our brand is Crisis" and "finding Fidel" both are documentaries with political slants. i would really recommend both of these to any and everyone. I understand that any form of media is incapable of being truly unbiased, but both of these made me think and reevaluate what i consider as "truth."
i am trying really hard to do some writing, and not getting much done. A current authority figure in my day-to-day recently made a comment to me that i should never have been allowed to get to where i am because of my inability to write, and i must admit that i am having a hard time getting over it even though this person hasn't seen or read anything that i have written in roughly 3 years. so i'll go back to truth, i am struggling to find what i consider truth, and to be true. i've had a few experiences recently to make me wonder how good i am at being true, let me share one.
i wanted a new pair of shoes, so i took my little sister (whom i love and adore) with me and we went shopping. we went to where a friend of mine works, (i really like this girl, she is great, however, she really doesn't know me, not that i know her all too well either so i think that the friendship here is really more of a me liking her and her tolerating me) we bought shoes. (it is my sisters b-day soon so i got her a pair like mine). as my friend and i talked i asked her if she was going to be joining us (me and another friend, on of the most sincere, and sincerely good people i know) for some kayaking the next day. she informed me that she would not, she had chosen not to kayak on said day. in my own ideas of truth, i shouldn't have been kayaking that day either, but had put that aside for my desire to kayak with the aforementioned friend. i was shamed into not kayaking. and have been questioning ever since my conviction to things that i would claim as truth.

i guess my point here is that i am sorry, i don't generally favor parentheses, (i am more of an ellipsis kind of guy) and think that parentheses allow us to side step or justify truth. i am sorry to anyone who finds me untrue and encourage everyone to question authority and seek truth (not just plain 'ol truth but the good kind, you know true truth) and share it with each other.

(oh and here you go ... )

Monday, September 15, 2008

he lives in a little house on the side of a little hill

so i have just moved into a little 2br, 1bth, kit, parking in the rear apartment in a 4-plex. this happened after a quite long and drawn out process of me sleeping in my car, on my parents living room floor, and camping out. this process included me being the victim of discrimination. so the man i am renting from let his apartment sit empty for almost three weeks, at least two of those i was trying to move in. finally i told him i would need to know if i could move in or not so that i could make other arrangements if necessary. he informed me that he had found a young newly wed couple and would be renting to them if they wanted the apartment and if not, then i could have it. so i called on the specified day and time and was told that he had rented the apartment. i was sad, and upset, i really needed a place to sleep, but i went kayaking with john and shanshine and quickly got over it (i swam but we can talk about that later, for those of you who don't know about kayaking that's a bad thing). later that afternoon the landlord called back and told me that if i wanted the apartment it was mine and i could move int the next day. apparently one of the two didn't like my little house. so here is my point. i was really upset that i wasn't going to get a place to live simply because i am not married. my money is just as legit and i am just as capable of paying on time as my married counterparts out there. the landlord even explained to me that he gives priority to married couples as a way to help them save money to eventually put a down payment on a house (rent is more than reasonable). here is my problem, i am angry that i wasn't good enough for his apartment because of my marital status, but at the same time, if i was in his position and i could help young married couples get started i would like to do the same thing. i can't help but be a little upset, and yet i would do the same if i could. i guess the bottom line is, do you like apples?
well i got the apartment, how do you like them apples?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

i don't know why i feel so tongue tied

so this is my first post as a blogger. i finally decided that i could no longer live vicariously through my friends blogs by simply leaving comments. i have been putting this off, however, because if feel like i haven't written anything in a long time worth anything. i lost my inspiration i guess and just couldn't find my voice, if i ever had one, to say anything. So here we go, with everything around us changing i am sure i will as well, but i hope that this will be an open forum to stay together and keep in touch as we embrace, struggle against, fight for, and are destroyed by the changes we experience. Truth is everything is always changing, we can either do it together and recognize each other at the end, or do it on our own and never recognize one another again.